Grief

flock of birds flying above the mountain during sunset

Where there is sorrow, there is holy ground.

– Oscar Wilde

Grief Tending in community

It is hard to put words to the extent that the loss of a child, a pregnancy or hope of conception can reach. Sometimes it can feel like the world we thought we knew is unravelling after a loose thread has been  pulled and snagged the whole cloth. Grief can be unreasonable, savage and wild. This page is about our approach to grief and the community events we offer.

We know that no two families experience grief the same way, every situation is different. However a common feeling can be one of loneliness and isolation, especially if support from family, friends and healthcare professionals fades over time. Grief can have a lifelong impact, with feelings resurfacing months, or years after an event, sometimes triggered by subsequent pregnancies or milestones. The Nest offers a friendly space to connect with others who have also been affected by loss.

white plumeria flower on water

Grief relating to fertility can come from many different experiences, for example through:

Infertility

Miscarriage

Stillbirth

Neonatal loss

Termination of pregnancy, for any reason

Fertility treatment loss

Perimenopause 

Menopause

Pregnancy after loss

Or any other grief related to the wide field of fertility

Community & Belonging

Humans are a social species. We are born to live in connection with other people, not just for the good times, but also for the difficult ones.

Inclusion

We are an inclusive organisation and believe in intersectional feminism, promoting gender justice and racial justice. We are LGBTQ+ friendly and welcome all ethnicities.

Well-being & Self-care

We take self-care very seriously. This is not the first place to come if you are recently bereaved, or if your mental health is unstable. Please seek advice from your health care professional if you are in any doubt. 

white plumeria flower on water

Baby Loss Café

Welcome to The Nest Baby Loss Café – a friendly safe space for chat over tea and cake.

This is a place for all people whose lives have been affected by the loss of a baby, whether that be during pregnancy, at birth or in infancy. For those who have lost recently, decades ago and those expecting a rainbow baby. We also welcome those grieving never having children.

This is not a therapeutic space but a friendly group to connect with others who have also been affected by baby loss. You are welcome to come as you are, drink tea, eat cake, and talk about your experiences, if you want.

The Nest essential ground rules:
*Non-judgemental – people might have different views to you and that’s ok.
*Respect – ourselves, each other and the space.
*Open hearted – trust that everyone is doing the best they can.
*You don’t have to share personal stories but you might need to be prepared to listen.
*Confidential – what’s shared in the space stays in the space

We are LGBTQ+ friendly and welcome all ethnicities.

The Nest Team are here to hold a safe space for baby loss conversations. We meet every 8 weeks at The MS Centre. 7.30 – 9pm. Book below to let us know you’re coming or get in touch HERE.

We look forward to meeting you soon.


Resources for Grief
Baby loss

The Miscarriage Association, 01924 200799, Information and support for anyone affected by miscarriage, molar pregnancy or ectopic pregnancy: www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk

Tommy’s, Information and support for people affected by stillbirth, miscarriage and premature birth: www.tommys.org

Sands, Information and support for anyone affected by the death of a baby: Sands.org.uk

Choices. Exeter & Teignmouth. Baby loss and post abortion support. www.choicespregnancycentre.co.uk

The Mariposa Trust, supporting baby loss and bereavement https://www.mariposatrust.org/

Infertility

Resolve. The National Infertility Association: https://resolve.org/

IVF in ethnic communities https://thefertilityhub.com/ivf-in-ethnic/

Abortion

Choices. Exeter & Teignmouth. Baby loss and post abortion support. www.choicespregnancycentre.co.uk

Brook. Information about the abortion process. https://www.brook.org.uk/your-life/accessing-abortion-services/

Inroads: International Network for reduction of abortion stigma and shame. https://www.makeinroads.org/

Abortion Law in UK https://www.msichoices.org.uk/abortion-services/abortion-and-your-rights/

Abortion Support Group online. https://www.sheffieldmaternitycooperative.co.uk/dopo-x-smc

Dopo. 1-2-1 abortion doula support https://www.wearedopo.com/

Pregnancy after loss

The Miscarriage Association: https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/your-feelings/pregnancyaftermiscarriage/

Sands, Information and support for anyone affected by the death of a baby: Sands.org.uk

Women of colour and/or from diverse cultural backgrounds

FIVE X MORE
COMMITTED TO HIGHLIGHTING AND CHANGING BLACK MATERNAL OUTCOMES IN THE UK https://www.fivexmore.com/

Birthrights: Your basic birth rights (translated into 16 languages) https://www.birthrights.org.uk/factsheets/your-basic-birth-rights-translated/

Pregnant then Screwed support line https://pregnantthenscrewed.com/support-for-black-asian-and-minority-ethnic-women/


THE WELL OF GRIEF

Those who will not slip beneath

     the still surface on the well of grief,

turning down through its black water

     to the place we cannot breathe,

will never know the source from which we drink,

     the secret water, cold and clear,

nor find in the darkness glimmering,

     the small round coins,

          thrown by those who wished for something else.​

– David Whyte


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